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“This wasn’t a bad idea.”

“Yeah, I suppose. You can’t really get much food at the bar, though.”

“Who said? I always eat here at the bar.” Playful, Spicy, Zed, and Addfire were sitting at a table, having a happy ol’ candle-lit dinner together. Technically the bar had lights above, but that didn’t really matter much. The point was, they’d found the criminal, and everything deserved to settle down.

Zed protested. “Bars are for drinking, chilling, and being yourself! Not, uh, having dinner!”

Spicy narrowed his eyes. “Have you tried drunk chicken?”


“Oh my god, it is delicious. I’m serious. Yo, I’m gonna go get a White Russian for us, if you guys don’t mind.” Spicy got up with a giddy look on his face, and walked towards the counter.

“You bastard!” A new visitor appeared in the door. It was… Sondz. “Why are you falsely posting your own records on your house?”

“…we meet again, ol’ buddy. Heh.” Spicy laughed a hearty laugh. “And do I let you know, that it’s our house.”

A moment of fuckin’ satisfying shock went through the bar. Including the curious anons.

“…hold a minute. When did this happen?” Addfire’s eyebrows scrunched up. Suddenly, her eyes brightened. “Oh my god. I knew it! You guys are totally—”

“Addfire,” Spicy sighed. “Sondz is my roommate. And this didn’t happen because of your whole getting stuff at the bakery. By the way Sondz, where have you been today after we separated?”

“…you guys knew about that?” Addfire was beginning to sound a bit… flustered.

Sondz shrugged. “I was staying with Chengsha. And yeah, Spicy’s been reading through your fanfictions. It’s quite enjoyable.”

Addfire blushed. “Uhhh…” Meanwhile, Playful signaled for Spicy to go to the bar up ahead. She was trying not to laugh, so goddamn hard. Spicy would always remember, oh that fateful day.

It’d happened when somebody had told Spicy that Sondz’s house burned down. It was still during the point where the two were bickering, and Spicy himself was literally standing on the roof of the bar, and yelling into a megaphone about Sondz being a bastard. Yeah, those were fun days.

Spicy had jumped off (somersaulting in the air like he always did), and sprinted towards Sondz, highly concerned about him (he was a banana after all), and saw that, well…

Sondz was in pain. He’d apparently been burned on the side, and there was a lot of cuts on his body, blood oozing out. He was literally screaming on the top of his lungs, near the garden, and Spicy had to put down his grudges, he was a friend, after all. He yanked the sad banana over, ran to the nearest lake, and plopped him in the water.


For all the public knew, Sondz was sleeping in one of the conference rooms. However, Spicy had taken him in after seeing how losing all of his, well, everything had done Sondz a great deal of hurt. Sondz rejected it heavily at first, but soon, both of them realized.

There was a lot more compassion in both of their hearts than malice.

And it’d been a Sunday, Spicy remembered. When he walked home from work (revising library articles), he took off his coat, walked upstairs, and heard someone sobbing in the bathroom. And from it, Spicy could hear what Sondz had gone through. The feeling of loss.

That was when something new emerged in Spicy’s heart, and he walked over to the banana.

He kissed him.

That’d been a shock immediately for Sondz (after all, Spicy didn’t really have lips), and he tried to budge away from what he now perceived as a pervy skeleton. But Sondz couldn’t budge from the iron grip of Spicy (who was holding onto his hip), and he slowly stopped resisting.

In fact, Spicy didn’t even know why he’d done it, it came as a shock to him too. But as the kiss continued, Spicy felt a set of thin but firm hands on his hip. And Sondz was reciprocating those feelings too.

It was in that moment, that Spicy knew, he’d never ever let Sondz go in a heartbeat.

Course, they still acted like they hated each other (they felt sort of ashamed about the whole kissing thing; a banana in love with a skeleton? What?), with Sondz even ripping out Spicy’s rib, but the night that the potato had planned for the two? The questions were genuine, and they really weren’t sure. It was one kiss, after all, and even if it was extremely passionate, they were really testing the waters on this one. But that was when it’d become official.

Suddenly, Spicy felt a bitter feeling.

He didn’t want Sondz to go either. But Spicy? He had no say over this matter.

Zed crashed into the table.

“Ahhh…I want my meds...”

He couldn’t help but groan at everything that’d happened today. Shit went down, but they solved it. Desert was the murderer. And he was exhausted as fuck.

Something felt incomplete. Why did he feel that there was something still lurking in the shadows? He felt as if something—no, someone had been following him. He looked back.

No one was there.

“Zed? You okay?” Playful was concerned. Of course she was, she cared about everyone in the Town, nowadays. What else was a Bodyguard supposed to do, play Blackjack?

“…something’s off. Didn’t the prophecy say burn?”


“If Desert was the killer, then what the hell was that all about? Why haven’t we seen Venera for the past few days at all?”

Spicy walked back with a White Russian. “Eh? That’s a good question. You should probably go and check.” He took a shot right from the bottle. “Ahh, the feeling of drunkedness is powerful, mates.”

“Spicy, you’re not Aussie.”

“Doesn’t matter if I’m from down under, as long as I’m not American either.”

“…bloody hell.”

Playful got up. “Well, I gotta go, guys. Can’t stay for long, Chengsha’s gonna be wondering wherever the hell I be living at.” Spicy looked disappointed.

“Come on, Felicia. Stay here a bit longer, you haven’t even had dinner yet! We literally just started!”

“Felix, I know you mean well... but I don’t want to get burdened. Besides, I imagine you want to spend more time with your beloved, right?”

“…” Spicy looked down at his White Russian. Zed had the urge to snatch that bottle right from under his phalanges.

Zed stood up. “All right then. Good going, then.” He got up to hold the door open for Playful.

She walked through the door, with a happy smile on her face, and walked right out, on those stylish but practical combat boots. She smiled, waving back at the crowd. The door closed, bells jangling. The gang had some pasta and fish soup, and laughed with each other about the antics., and with all that soothing music and talk around them?

It’d seemed chill.


Suddenly, a rush of people barged into the bar. They were all dressed in black, and had masks over their mouths. “Everybody down on the ground! Nobody move a fucking inch, or we’ll shoot you!”

Zed looked at Spicy with a confused look on his face.


Zed was really gonna need his sleep pills after this, but first off, how had they managed to get in? The security…ah. Today was a break day. Of course, that’s why there could be so much murder today happening.

But who the hell brings 50 rocket launchers to a fight? Seriously, Zed was gonna start drinking from the bottle too if he had anymore memories about poor Rocket being drowned in the lake.

Zed took a scan of the room. There was himself, Spicy, Addfire, and Sondz (who’d joined the party). Other than that, there was also Vert (who was carrying his broom) and FirePyre (who was bringing some muffins out to negotiate with Vert). And of course the anons, but they couldn’t shoot anyways; they didn’t have authorization for weaponry.

He was doubtful that they could take this group of bandits out. Again, rocket launchers? He could even say there were mortars waiting to blast the gang apart. But first, he was interested in something else—why the hell were they here?

Zed leaned on the table. “Who are you guys, eh? Thinking you can mess with our little party here?”

The leader laughed. “Your little party? Heh, you thought you knew everything. There is nothing worthwhile in this town—so why bother keeping it? Oh, you thought you could mess with the Darkened Elf Society? No. We’ve seen all of your little plots against each other, playing each other like your little ants. It disgusts me. What do you serve as, Sheriff? Justice? What is that even in here, if you can’t even find a killer within your Town? I find it…despicable of you.” Zed was looking at the clock. Everyone else had gone silent, but they were all preparing for the worst. Spicy had his hand reaching for his pocket, Sondz was already moving to get that precious Vodka bottle of Spicy’s, Vertroyer was holding his broom by the shaft, and Addfire…

She’d already popped out of existence. Probably to her powerful disguising abilities, and ready to ambush at any second.

“So that’s why we’re here. To cleanse this Town, of your silly little ways. All of you are to come out, single-file, or we’ll cut up all your bodies alive.”

Hmm. Zed knew that he could easily get his Sheriff gun out right now, but what good would that be? He’d rather fight outside than in the bar; it would also give Spicy the destructive advantage (the blaster bastard he was).

“Do you comply, Sheriff?”

Zed looked back at Spicy and Vert. They all had an agreeing look on their face.

“All right then guys. Let’s head out.” Zed headed out, with the rest following file. They had their hands chained together (for no reason whatsoever, constraints?) and walked into the field.

“Ah, the feeling of despair. Hmm. Perhaps I’ll put you all to good use, slaves and servants, of course. Men, go into the town, and look for that young girl named Playful. I want her taken straight to our ba-”


Spicy had uprooted bones beneath the Earth, which broke all of the bonds, and from there? Shit went south fast.

They’d been brought to the Southwest field, and so Zed took out his Sheriff gun, and started to blast the fuck out of these asshats. The leader yelled for reinforcements, and well, Zed could see hundreds of backup, all loaded with rifles, shotguns, and heading towards the town gate. He swore he even heard mortar shots. They had to stop them. Zed immediately saw a shot from the leader, and with Zed’s amazing aim and powerful skills?

He shot the bullet, and the two ammunitions collided, falling to the ground. Zed turned his hat with a smile. No one’s aim is better than the motherfuckin’ Sheriff, he thought. He continued to fire at will.

Vertroyer had got his broom, and was surprisingly violent. He stabbed people in the face with the end of his broom, and sweeped off the body with the other end. He wielded that mop like it was a spear, and ho boy. He was good at it.

Addfire had been successful as well. Disguising herself as one of the enemy, she backstabbed the enemies whenever possible, sabotaging the weapons, and was practically a ninja. Zed couldn’t help but realize that had she been in the Americas, Salem would’ve long perished since. She was practically a Spy herself,

FirePyre’s skills were also unbelievably well. He apparently was able to chuck his muffins like grenades, and they were deadly. All of his targets were knocked out with that blazing force of FirePyre, and nothing would stop that Baker from baking in his bakery. And they were rather successful at blocking the rocket launchers.

Sondz had found a vodka bottle from the kitchen, and was smashing enemies left and right. The glass shards were extremely brutal, and blood was gushing everywhere. Everyone was being distracted by the banana, and holy hell, was he good. The one to be feared.

And Spicy…bloody fucking hell.

Spicy had jumped right into the air, hovering,and shot with his prized ivory revolver. A shot and a hit, just like Zed. Two blasters were right above him, and wreaked havoc down on the enemies. Spicy’s shades had been left at his home, and his sole remaining right eye was blazing red, daring to spill blood from within. There were bloody bones being summoned everywhere, and storms of them rushing towards the bandits. It was like the night Spicy had arrived to Town.

There was a reason why Zed hadn’t been such a dick to him before.

However, the bandits were still attacking fiercely. Zed was hearing explosions in the background, and haunting screams. But that was of a lesser matter right now.

“Zed!” Spicy yelled. “We need to hold off the gate! They’re coming way too fast!”

“We’re out of people!”

“Are you fucking serious? Me again?”

“Do what you gotta do, man!”

A loud noise of buzzing suddenly invaded the air. Air shells? Zed was scared to death. There was no way they could win that way. But wait, there was also a distinct metal gear clanking to it. Could it mean…

Looking up, he saw the trademark icon of the true genius of the Town. Ulithemuli had sent drones down to fight, and goddamn were they great, mowing down the enemies. Uli himself was flying on a hang glider, and shooting his laser blaster at the new enemies.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, running out of bullets and having to grab new ones (apparently Spicy had way too much ammunition in his pockets), the bloodshed was beginning to flow dry. All that was left was that leader Bandit, and Zed had already shot him in the eye. The reinforcements had finally ran away.

Addfire walked over to the bandit, and smiled. “What do you have to say now, bastard?”

The villain smiled. “You don’t know what you’ve just done. You’ve just sealed this Town’s fate to tragedy.

“Impossible!” Addfire was laughing now. “Nothing has gone wrong, and will go wrong!” She stabbed the bastard in the other eye, and Vert began working on the mess, with a smile plastered on his face.

Suddenly, Lookouts were rushing out. “They’re dead!” “Someone’s on the loose!” “We’re all gonna die!”

Addfire, who was now picking up her clothes, looked at the Townies. “What do you mean?”

“Ven’s house!”

Zed looked at FirePyre with a dreadful look on his face. “Come with me?”

The Baker was in shock.

The two had opened the door to Venera’s house, and found a disturbing truth. There was dust on the bed, with lighter fluid and charcoal on the bottom.

“…oh my god.” Zed’s face was completely pale, white as the marble of Town Hall. FirePyre was just as in shock. Who could’ve done this?

A Lookout charged into the house. “Zed! We’ve got more issues!”

Zed looked back slowly. “…y-yes?”

“Both Godfathers are dead, Mattbab’s body was found in a conference room, and we found these blue dregs at the bottom of the Cliffside’s lake.”

Spicy had walked in, and his eyelights had gone completely dark. “Ghosty’s committed suicide, found a Last Will in his house. The Jester instincts got to him. And we’ve got a worse issue.”

For once, Zed could hear fear in Spicy’s voice.

“Playful’s been kidnapped.”

The horror and shock was setting in.

There were nine librarians left. The killer hadn’t perished after all.

…hysteria and paranoia was thriving in the air now.

They walked into their room, a soft smile. Looking through the library books, they chose one, called “Deception”.

They flipped through the pages, and found a list. They crossed off all of those who’d already died.

…they slowly laughed to themselves. They could really deceive themselves really well, and forget what their true responsibility was, to kill everyone.

They took out a file from their cabinet, and threw it into the fire. Everything was about experience, knowing how to play it cool, and act accordingly. They were glad that someone had finally decided to kill besides themselves. Simply helped take the process down faster.

A poem came to his mind, and he began to write, with his pen.

A true tragedy, that has been bestowed upon all

What comes to mind, is simply sadness, but sadists come to call

Yes, it is I, the one who has thrown murder into play

It is not one, but two that have created something to stay

Oh my friend, Desert, he was truly a great companion.

But he was foolish, and failed, lost in his yang and yin

Those bandits, what a waste, but they certainly helped my cause

Though perhaps taking Playful was too ignorant of the laws

Ah, it is my calling, as they saw great hope in my eyes

For it is Hawaiian they call me, hilarious, as doth we all die.

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