So... Rocket and Shadow, eh?" Addfire asked Eclipsa, discussing Venera's findings. They were in a store run by the master of rage zerself, which sold basically everything. Today, it was offering some nice coffee and gossip.

"I know, righ- SHUT UP THERE THEY ARE!"

Rocket and Shadow were, indeed, right there. But not talking to each other. They were each captured in a whirl of commuters on opposite sides of the street, they didn't even notice each other.

Addfire's eyes lit up. "Okay, listen. I have the perfect plan to get them together, but we're gonna need some help from Zed, a park, a salamander, and-"

Eclipsa cut her off, holding up her hand. "Sorry Add, but I think this time round we need to, I don't know, go with non-invovlment."

Addfire pouted, blowing some hair out of her eyes. "But we got involved with Sondz and Spicy-" here everyone in the store put one hand over their eye and the other on their leg, the symbol of Spicyz1911. "and look how well that turned out!"

"Listen," Eclipda soothed. "I just think this time around we shouldn't interfere. They need to get there on their own."

"Ah, but that'll be boring!"

Eclipsa tossed Addfire some night vision cameras.

"What's this for?"


Eclipsa's grin was terrifying.

Addfire walked home, knowing that she was about to betray Eclipsa. Rocket and Shadow? I can't interfere? Um... Yeah, Eclipsa will understand just this once. She'll probably even thank me! So she went to the bar.

Eclipsa walked home, feeling like a complete martyr. Rocket and Shadow? I know I said we shouldn't interfere, but... Addfire will understand. Just this once. She continued onwards to find a faceless man.

Addfire sparta-kicked open the bar's saloon doors. "ZED! Pour me a drink!"

"Sure," drawled the Sheriff. "What do ya want?"

"Two whiskeys, if you please."

Zed complied, an expert barista as always. Shaking, spinning, and pouring the drinks with expert ease. Soon, two shot glasses were slid Addfire's way. She grabbed one in each hand and sat down next to HAWAIIAN. She passed him a glass.

"Hey, Krissy!"

HAWAIIAN looked up from the book he was inspecting. "What is it? I don't have all day. These jokers recently passed by with a Firefighter role and..." He revealed a flaming piece of parchment. A lighter was in front of him. A crying anon could be seen on the corner, nursing a man in a bright red suit and hat.

Addfire was silent for a moment, rage bubbling beneath the surface. She stepped away from the table, crossed over to the suited man, and snapped his neck. Addfire briskly returned to the table.

"Jegus," she complained, sitting down and draining her glass in one go. "They never stop..."

HAWAIIAN cracked a wan smile. "And I remember back when you called yourself the nice role reviewer."

Addfire's face clouded over. "Happiness is a luxury."

Someone coughed across the bar, breaking the memories.

"Anyways," Addfire began. "I need to ask you something. You're friends with Rocket, right?"

"Um... Yeah, I'd like to think so. Why?"

"I need you to try and hook him up with Shadow."


"No, no, hear me out-"

"Why can't you do it?"

"Well, ya see, a while back in the DRRP town, Joan sorta kinda let Will Thatcher kill Chilai after Martin helped shoot Fe-"

"Okay, okay," HAWAIIAN sighed. Addfire and her antics would give him a heart attack before the year was through. "Well, I'll try!"

Eclipsa sparta-kicked open the door to Ghosty's house. "Ghosty! Get down here now!"

The whisp was carried down a set of pink stairs by his Kirby minions. "What is it this time, Eclipsa?"

"You're Shadow's friend, right?"

"Um... Kinda? I guess? Ask Damacheus or FireTiger, they probably know the wanker better."

"Those two? ... Ew."

"Okay that's kinda rude?"

"That's not the point! Sheesh!"

"Well what is it?"

"I need you to help me hook up Shadow and Rocket."

"Um... Why can't you do it?"

"Well, I kinda-sorta told Addfire that the two of us shouldn't intervene but since I'm just doing this one small thing I think it doesn't reall-"

"Okay yeah fine whatever I'll do it."

Addfire left the bar, heading for Ghosty's house. How should I get him to go with my cause? she asked. Bribery? Blackmailing? Begging? So many options, and so many of those options begin with a 'B'... She was so focused that she didn't realize that she had run into Eclipsa.

"Addfire," she began crossly, "What are you doing?"

"I am so sorry... Wait, where are you coming from?"

"Oh, just from URN's house." Suddenly, Eclipsa realized her mistake and clamped her hand over her mouth, but the damage was done.


"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I thought that you-"

"AND EVEN AFTER I WENT TO HAWAII-" Addfire's face, beet red from rage, drained to a pale white.


"I can't talk to you right now." Addfire pushed away, coldly. She wandered away, not knowing where her feet were leading her.

Eclipsa ran off as well, fires burning behind her eyes.

HAWAIIAN slid out of his chair with a groan. Ugh, he thought, I don't want to be a middleman in some shitty love triangle. But, I mean, getting Sondz and Spicy- he quickly put one hand over his eye and the other on his leg- together was undoubtedly good for the town, who can't say Rocket and Shadow will, IDK, do wonders on the town's economy? … Addfire, with her meddling and fussing and bugging. I wish I didn't have to…

In one step he was next to Rocket. Rocket was wearing his bulletproof vest, as always, and was looking into an empty mug of beer. Four more mugs were piled up around him.

"Hey there Rocket!"


"Oh c'mon, snap out of your liquor-induced stupor!"

Rocket blearily raised his head. "Listen, HAWAIIAN… I go by one simple rule: If you see something, say nothing, and drink to forget."

HAWAIIAN once more looked at all the empty mugs near him. "Man, you must've seen some serious stuff…"


"Listen, you didn't hear it from me, but apparently Shadow finds you a suitable suitor." HAWAIIAN threw a cheerful wink at Rocket. Rocket immediately seemed perked up. "You mean… Someone likes me?"

"Wh- we all- listen, Rocket, we all like you."

"Wow okay this is pretty sudden I can't believe I've found myself with this many suitors but at the moment I'm just gonna take this one besotted lover at a time."

HAWAIIAN glowered. He wasn't about to put up with Rocket's annoying sarcasm.

"Screw you. Anyways, I don't know, go find Shadow?"

Shadow, at the moment, had fallen down the stairs. There was a furious knocking at the door, and in his haste to get out of bed and answer it he had forgotten about the stairs. He remembered someone from another wiki taunting: "I warned you bro! I warned you about the stairs!"

Grumbling, he mumbled his way to the door. It was Ghosty, supported by an entourage of Kirbys!

"Hey there you wanker, how ya doing?"

"Pretty darn wanker, how about you?"

"Wanker wanker?"

"Wanker wanker wanker?"

"… Wanker."

"Wait, Rocket likes me?"

"Yes, that is what I just said. Thanks for repeating that."

Shadow shoved past Ghosty. "Well thanks a ton, you wanker."

Ghosty shrugged. At least I did what I was asked, he thought. Might as well go on to Cheng's house, see what she's doing.

Shadow and Rocket collided in front of Playful's house.

Cries of "What the hell, you wanker?" Slammed into growls of "I find you freaky and don't want to be around you."

They both looked at each other.

"You mean-"

"You don't-"

"Listen, Shadow, it's not like I hate you," clarified Rocket, "But I really don't see you that way at all."

They then shared a completely platonic high-five of friendship.

Suddenly, a figure stepped out of the shadows. His face looked puzzled, but that was all that could be seen. But instead of just a floating head, there was a void where the rest of the body would have been. Just… black. "Hey!" It began, "I rated you a ten-" a gunshot rang out, and the head fell to the ground, a bullet between the eyeballs. Whatever force that was holding it up had vanished.

A block away Uli tossed away a sniper rifle. "Discord rules don't apply here," he growled.


Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.